Let me start by saying, “that which you resist, usually persists.”
The more that you try to get rid of the images and thoughts, the more that you try
to fight those disturbing thoughts and images, in essence, you give them more power.
They probably will increase in intensity or at least, continue to be highly
disturbing to you.
Instead of trying to get rid of them or resist them, instead, begin to acknowledge
the thoughts and images.
What you have here, is a part of you sending a message. Saying to you, in essence,
“I am in need of healing.”
These disturbing images and thoughts point to a part of you, a core of you that is
struggling with something. It’s vitally important to pay attention and learn from
those thoughts and images.
And as you do that, the intensity and the frequency of these thoughts and images
will dissipate over time.
When you have an image, or when you have a disturbing thought, and it persists, ask
the question, “What is this image or what does this thought mean to me? What does it
mean to me that I’m having this image, this specific image, this specific thought?
You probably will discover, and most people discover, that it means that a part of
you is feeling inadequate. A part of you says something’s happening here that I
can’t do. When I imagine my spouse being with the other person, sexually or
otherwise, I imagine them being together in a way that I can’t be, or don’t want to
be. Perhaps, that’s an issue. Or I imagine them being together in a way that I would
like to be together with someone and so I’m blocking something.
A particular sexual image may mean that I feel terribly inadequate sexually at that
particular point in time. That’s why I’m having that image. I’m having an image or a
thought because I believe that something’s wrong with me.
This image, this thought, brings up the thought that something’s wrong with me. That
I’m inadequate in some way, or that I’m stuck in some way. So, pay attention to
these images and disturbing thoughts and you’ll probably learn a great deal.
Another trick that I sometimes use with people is to measure the intensity of the
images or the thoughts. Measure them on a scale of one to 10, 10 being as bad as it
can get. Over a period of time you’ll see the fluctuations in the intensity and
frequency of the images.
One final note: I was trained in a process called EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization
and Reprocessing, and it’s a powerful tool. I found it to be a powerful tool to help
people deal with images and thoughts that tend to traumatize them.
Seek out a therapist who is qualified, who’s had two levels of training in EMDR to
help you reprocess the disturbing images and related thoughts.
Video: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?s=thoughts+and+images
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