Infidelity Q&A #19: What Am I Learning About Myself?

Stuff happens. Did you ever see the bumper sticker that says “Stuff happens?” It
doesn’t really say stuff happens, but you get the idea.

Infidelity happens. It happens and it feels like the end of the world, doesn’t it?
It can be devastating. The feelings are indescribably intense. The images and the
negative thoughts consume a person for hours, for days, for weeks and sometimes for
months.

The process takes two to four years for normal people to heal, to reconcile, to
forgive and move on.

For those who research, read and study and approach the infidelity intentionally, a
shorter period of time is the result.

There’s a huge investment that’s asked of us when we encounter this demon called
infidelity or an affair.

So let’s think about this a minute. Let’s think about the fact that infidelity is
given to you or happens to you.

Let’s put this in a theoretical framework.

This framework for me, at least, says that life is not problem-free.

Life is filled periodically with times of transitions, times of change, times of
trauma, times of death, times of crisis of various kinds.

We can’t escape it. We try. We work hard not to go there, but I believe that life
offers us and our relationships times of intense challenge, change, transition,
trauma and crisis. A child dies. A person gets sick, cancer, heart attack or is
disabled. Debilitating events pop up and emerge.

You can’t escape. You can’t get away from those kinds of events, and they always
continue until the point of our death.

So where does that leave you and leave you with the infidelity in your life? This is
a challenge to you.

I want you to see infidelity as a gift. That’s right.

Infidelity can be an impetus for you to evolve and develop into the kind of person
you are meant to be and that you truly want to become.

And as well, infidelity can help a relationship evolve and become fully what it’s
meant to be – a deeper, richer relationship.

Infidelity is a gift.

What are you learning about you?

What are you learning about relationships?

Give some thought to those questions.