This question often is pondered when someone is thinking, “Should I stay, or should
I go? Should I remain in this relationship, or should I exit?”

“What am I tolerating; what am I putting up with, and how long do I put up with
that?” is also considered when one thinks about reconciling with a cheating husband
or a cheating wife.

“If we get back together, if we have a workable relationship, what again am I going
to tolerate or put up with? And for how long?”

These are very, very important questions.

Most of us tolerate way, way, way too much.

Most of us are fearful of taking a stand. Most of us are fearful of drawing a line,
fearful of what might happen if we draw a line.

But when we do draw a line, or when we do take a stand, other people, in my
experience, respect that and admire that, and wish they were like that.

So how much do we tolerate? How long do we tolerate it? And how can we move out of
tolerating too much or putting up with too much?

Here’s an exercise that will get you on the road of learning how to get rid of the
tolerations in your life, live a freer life, and make you much, much more
attractive.

Get a piece of paper and pencil.

Make a list of the top 10 things that you are tolerating at home, in your
environment or at work. What are the top 10 things that you are tolerating in your
home, or at work, or in your environment?

Just write quickly, those things that you think about when you think about what
you’re putting up with in that environment.

Second, make a list of the top 10 things that you are tolerating or putting up with
in terms of yourself: I’m too passive. I’m too angry. I’m too aggressive. I’m too
depressed. I weigh too much. My hair isn’t right.

What is it that you’re tolerating or putting up with in terms of yourself?

Third, take another piece of paper and write down the top 10 things that you’re
tolerating in your relationship.

I’m tolerating a rollercoaster relationship. I’m tolerating a boring relationship.
I’m tolerating an angry relationship. I’m tolerating and putting up with a
relationship in which there’s a lot of distance. I’m putting up with a relationship
in which there’s no sex.

Make a list of the top 10 things that you’re tolerating or putting up with in your
relationship.

Fourth, make a list of the top 10 things that you’re putting up with or tolerating
with him/her.

What does s/he say, or s/he do that I must tolerate?

List the top 10 things, and then begin working toward ridding those tolerations. Go
back to the first list; it’s probably easier there to begin eliminating some of
those tolerations.

Once you eliminate the toleration, notice how you feel.

Notice what happens in your environment.

Begin at list one, go to list two, list three, and list four, and begin the process
of putting up and tolerating less; taking a stand and making yourself more
attractive.

Then see what happens in your relationships and see where your decision making
process takes you.