Yes, affairs do happen.
You probably never thought in a million years that it would happen in your marriage, but you are there.
Here’s a question you SHOULD ask yourself… to help you heal and recover: “What Am I Discovering About my Self, Others and Relationships?”
I’m learning I have strength and inner resources I never suspected; that I have dear and faithful friends and no matter what happens with my tattered marriage, my life will be full and rich.
i have learned lots!
when someone runs you down degrades you.
BE CAREFULL they have a hidden agenda.
they are commiting adultry.
if someone loves you they are there for you!
not tearing your life apart behind your back.
I’ve learned that soemtimes good people make very bad mistakes. I’ve learned that to truly love someone, means to understand that. I’ve learned that I can forgive because I love. I’ve learned that I am worth the time and the work because in the end, it brings me back to center. I’ve learned that just because he strayed, it doesn’t mean it will happen again. I’ve learned to trust again and to love deeper than I ever knew I could. I’ve learned that sometimes life is hard but it’s worth every moment, even when it hurts.
Most importantly, I’ve learned that things aren’t always perfect and how we handle that truly defines who we are.
I’ve learned that I can be sad and bitter and withdrawn for 4 years since learning of the affair. That I can be stuck keeping a secret that is at the core of who I am. That sharing that secret does not help – it shatters friendships because there is no end to this pain. I’ve learned that I love my children so much that I cannot take them away from a family with both parents, but in the process one of those parents has become a shadow of herself. I’ve learned that I cannot talk to my husband, I have no confidence that he will help me, he will just withdraw emotionally and act the victim. 2 and a half years he had an affair, telling her he was separated while living a lie with me. I don’t respect him, I cannot sleep in the same bed as him, I don’t want to have sex with him, I don’t want to socialise with him, I’m not proud of him when we are with other people. But he is not doing anything wrong any more. The affair is over, although that took 6-12 months to happen while he continued to lie to me about it. He did everything I asked of him, lots of counselling and lots of talking and lots of effort to have fun together and be a couple. But now that effort has gone and I am still so hurt, I think about it every day. I feel like a fraud, living a lie, coping with life instead of loving life. He is such a ‘good husband’ – he cooks and does housework and is involved with the kids sport. But I am not happy with him and I am so stuck.