How does infidelity change one’s life? What is it’s impact? Read what these two readers say. If you’ve been there you might understand. If you haven’t been there it will help you understand the impact of infidelity:
I spend a lot of time thinking about how things could be different. I create fantasy partners, who love and cherish me, and help or inspire me to find hidden talents in myself. I wish I were different – prettier, more clever, more athletic, more alluring – but I don’t how to make those changes. And I’ve stopped sharing things about my marriage with those people I used to confide in.
I know longer trust him, I check his cell phone, his clothes, and his vehicle. I stay angry at him most of the time, something happens that brings back all of the pain, and it doesn’t help that he still works in the same company with them. I feel insecure, not desirable, I have more self- doubt. He tells me I just need to get over it there is worse things than someone having a affair, but not in “My World”. I trusted him with all of my heart and all he could say was, I took him for granted, we both made mistakes now just get over. And what’s the worst part I know he still in contact even though he tries to act like he’s not.
I think you and I are in the same ‘time-frame’ on our healing path! It is a year since my discovery that “the man with honour” is in fact NOT what I have believed for the past 33 years.So many of the things you mentioned are exactly the same for me…. but we (you and I) WILL BE OK. My mantra is: what will be, will be…
If he wanted a divorce he has had enough opportunity to say so. Just hang in there – don’t make hasty decisions. I do not know how old you are – I am a YOUTHFUL 50. I also fantasize about a ‘revenge affair’ but it is NOT in my nature to ever go that way. But yes, for now I wish someone would be like a teenager in love with me… not able to stop holding my hand, gaze into my eyes, flirt with me all the time etc…
Be strong – and let me know how you progress, please. EMC
OMG I feel EXACTLY like you! I wish I could email you privately! Mine came about 15 months ago.
I trusted him completely. Was so shocked that my body has taken the brunt of my stress.
He kept seeing her for 4 months after confessing. How sick!. Then still wanted us to be together.
I blew up all the time. He stayed but continued to call her and help her when she needed help. I blew up every time. He told me when I asked and was honest. Prior to that he lied. You know what finally broke his talking to her??? I signed divorce papers! NOW he’s changed, but he called her 1 too many times. He cried “wolf” 1 too many times. Now he’s buying my stuff – BIG stuff – a steam washer and dryer, new glasses and contacts, a new digital camera, and looking for a 42″ tv and stand! I’m gonna take it all with no regrets. Everyone thought we were the perfect couple, including me. He owes me! He ruined my life. I planned on dying with him. I’m going to hate being out there in the single world again.
Cindy, thanks for your ‘reply’. yes, it would be good to email privately. how do we arrange that? It will be the ‘anniversary’ of my discovery on 3 Dec and I think I will confront her on that day… (she still works for him). I am only ready to ‘charge neutral’ now. Do you have any idea how we can email? maybe I must check in on the chat room and see if you’re there?
Keep your chin up, girl! EMC