Discovering infidelity in one’s marriage can be a surreal experience.

This readers expresses her journey in coping with infidelity:

I have been the frog in water that doesn’t realize that the water is boiling until it is too late. I know that I can’t change him, but I also know the man he was before all of this started. He has been having the rage/revenge affair. She has lied to him over and over about me, because she was also my best friend. She is a widow and has two children to support. She has played on his sympathies. He doesn’t see the truth, and I can’t make him see the truth. I have been charging neutral ever since I read your book and it has helped tremendously. I made so many mistakes in the beginning, that I can’t even begin to count them. The pain of this double betrayal has been my undoing. It has put me in a position that I never could have ever imagined for my life and the life of my child. Ever since I stood up to him that night, there have been no more confrontations at all. I confronted him with proof positive and it shocked him to the core. I know that he continues to communicate with her, but not on the same level as before. There are other things that I did not tell you before either. She physically attacked me one night in our business because they were both drunk and I told them that it was time to go home. He defended her and tried to physically throw me out of here. I took a good beating. I should have called the police, but I felt sorry for my daughter and her kids. (My daughter witnessed the entire scene.) I left of my own accord, because I felt sorry for my daughter. I should have left then, but there is so much on the line because we have a business together and our property is on the market for quite a tidy sum. Attorneys have advised that I not leave until that is taken care of. In the mean time, I have learned to charge neutral. I also do not think that it is fair for my daughter to be uprooted from her school and home because he refuses to leave. In short, I can’t believe that this is my life, but I know in my heart that this is not my fault. It has everything to do with him and very little to do with me. I learned that from your book. Thank you so much for all you do. You have no idea how I wait every day in anitcipation for your emails. Your book helped me to take control of a very out of control situation!!