We are researching questions related to confronting the other person. Should you? When? Under what conditions? Those sort of questions. I’ve asked for input from my readers with 3 specific questions.

Here are the answers to the three questions, in which this person found the confrontation very helpful to bring about closure. My comments follow:

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

To bring closure for me and in a way i had hoped that she would reply with remorse and apologies. I e-mailed her as it made it less personal. I let my husband read the letter before i sent it and we both agreed for it to be sent.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

She was incredibly sorry and apologetic. I got the feeling that she meant everything she said and her words and apologies were very heart-felt.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

I would do it just the same. For me the outcome was very conclusive. There were absolutely no harsh words from iether of us and in a strange way i felt an amazing connection with her after our correspondence.

Coach’s comment: I would guess this would be an “I Need to Prove my Desirability” affair or perhaps, “I Want to be Close to Someone…but can’t stand intimacy. Note the lack of drama. Or perhaps there was drama, but all parties were able to stand back, make some shifts and growth and moved through their neediness. What do you think? Also note the mutual agreement by both spouses to send the letter. Sounds like they were both on the same page – which takes away much of the game playing.

Learn how to Break Free From the Affair.