Have you been to the infidelity chat room? It may not be for everyone, but some find it a key component in recovering from infidelity.
Listen to what some chat room users say:
1. List 2-3 ways the Chat Room has played a significant part in your “recovery.”
>>>>I realize that I am not alone and unfortunately my husband has used the same lies and excuses that almost every other betrayed spouse has.
>>>>I no longer feel alone. When my husband is being nasty and distant I log on and chat to the others. The support is a God sent.
>>>>someone is always there to listen seeing that others have also gone through it helps
>>>>I am very new myself..not much for stories to tell, just that I appreciate the opportunity to hear others opinions…hearing from someone who has hurt the same as I means more to me than you will ever realize!
>>>>Sharing of the pain Realizing there’s worse off than yourself Getting things off my chest
2. What are a couple pieces of advice you would give a newbie to the Chat Room?
>>>>Just dive in and let people know your story. Everyone is really supportive and wants to help you through the pain
>>>>Wait – listen – take support and give support
>>>>dive right in – you will feel better check back often – there are different people on at different times
>>>>You’ll be surprised at the relief talking with people coming from the same situation does to make you not feel like you’re the only one going through this. Sadly it’s all too common :-( Our situation (blended family) had a lot of other sub issues which contributed to it all. Speaking to others on how they handle things, not just an affair is also very helpful & humanising.
ii have been in with this man for five years.and he saids his wife is sick now.but he cant leave her because also her mom and dad die.so this is not a good time at all.but i found out thay died three years ago.he is 54 and i am 44.nothing but lies. i have gotten so depressed. i know he wont leave her.but i have cut all ties off.not even a phone call.thank you still healing.PLEASE HELP.
Annetta:
Be kind to yourself. Show yourself the same compassion you show others. Decide who you want to be in 2009. What do you want for yourself? What makes you happy? What are the things you like about yourself? Make a list. Don’t be afraid of your feelings of anger,resentment, fear. Sit with them without judging them. You will be OK. These feelings will not hurt you, but they will build up and gain power if you don’t allow yourself to experience them. I believe that you are staying with this liar because being with him helps you avoid feelings you don’t want to face. At least, that’s how I am.
Congratulate yourself for cutting off the ties and communication. It takes a brave woman to do that. You are showing yourself to be someone who respects herself and demands something better.
Good luck!
A year and a half ago, my husband took a job that caused him to first live in Europe for three months, followed by relocating to a Midwest city four hours from our hometown. Due to economic circumstances, I have to work and I am an independent contractor, so if I don’t work, I don’t make money.
So for one year, he’s been living four hours away, rarely coming home, turning off his cell phone, not accounting for his time. But on the weekends he is home, I have the joy of caring for his children and being ignored.
There have been no thanks for supporting his career and enduring long absences. Recently, I wised up and hired a PI and also visited his apartment while he was out of town. What did I learn? He’s been having sex with other women, visiting Craig’s List, he has a web cam to chat it up with women.
I filed for divorce and hit him over the head verbally. He cheated and when questioned about it, he lied. There’s been barely an apology from him. So why do I feel so bad?
I found a text message my husband sent my best friend telling her how much he loves her and how good it felt to touch and kiss her. I found out they had been sexting for a while. he had been hurt in a car wreck and she started texting him i was working long hours and trying to take care of him but was staying up until 1 or so in the morning just to start again at 6 woking all day as well as taking care of him he mentioned how grumpy i was getting the sympathy started then the meeting up. i blame him more than her because he’s my husband and shouldn’t have taken her first message. how do i get over the anger, grief, and pain of betrayal from them both. we are going through a divorce but once they got caught it was over between him. he is her discarded trash to me and he realizes how deceatful she is. once she gets what she wants she no longer wants it. they are like the child with their hand in the cookie jar. they nolonger want it when caught. he wants me to stay and let him make it up to me how do i possibly do that i feel he shattered our family. none of the kids wants anything to do with him.