What does it take to heal a marriage after infidelity? Usually it’s more than healing – it’s a matter of redesigning a relationship.
Here are what some couples do and find helpful in healing the wound:
Do things to make you feel good about yourself, whether it be associating with positive people who make you feel good about yourself, keeping yourself fit, picking flowers , appreciating the sunrise and sunsets… Having a wonderful little grandson who brings such joy to us as a couple and makes you realize that there is a lot to be said for continuance and history and moving on. Naturally the departure of the OP is a big help, particularly if the relationship ends on a sour note! My husband is not a talker and would run a million miles if I tried to but we have nice meals together in front of the fire with our old dog and nice wine and hold hands and I am in 7th heaven. Don’t have expectations that are too big and accept them for the person they are.
1. It is important to become a person with other interests, therefore attending outside activities. 2. You need to accept that it takes time to heal. 3. Keep busy and do not “visit” the place in your mind constantly.
Wrote letters to each other
Talk to a caring family member. apologizing to each other for what causes the cheating. Go out, talk about the days when we were courting and why we still love each other.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!
I have been wanting to write this for a long time, but just never could. My husband and I where married for 28 years at the time when my whole life blew up before me. I worked in the medical field, every weekend (12 hr.shifts) and ofcourse every holiday. He on the other hand at his work place started seeing a girl the age of 22, he was 50.
When and how I found out was so insane. Needless to say it got very ugly and we both had PFA filed aganist each other. He moved in with his parents and I was home alone with are two dogs. Are children are all raised and married with their own families. He filed for divorce and we battled. The op dropped him like a hot potatoe when she relized that I was not about to back down and walk away without a fight. Needless to say my attorney told me I would probably walk away with 70% of everything.
He came back, and now we have been married for 31 years, so it has been a little over 2 years and our relationship is nothing. I care about him but I will never let him into my heart again. We are just like roomates and that’s it. He stopped kissing me and having sex about a month and ahalf ago. So, I don’t know what to think or do. By the way the op got married 6 months later to a much older man (she broke his family apart). I am pretty certain that my husband and her have been all along talking on the cell phone. He keeps his cell phone bill and never lets me see it. And when I check his cell everything is cleared out of it. Anyway thanks for listening, I just needed to get some of this ugly stuff off my mind for a little while anyhow. I just wish I could be happy, safe and feel love again. It is a very empty feeling that I have inside. My husband knows that I am unhappy, but he could care less. As long as his needs are meant. I truly believe the only reason he came back home after she dropped him was to keep the house and the ground that we jointly own. If anyone has any suggestions to help me cope, I would appreciate it if you would drop me a line. Thanks to all of you and God Bless.
hi jo,
your story is what i’m afraid of. can i ever trust him? is the marriage forever broken. will the intimacy ever return…is it worht it? is he afraid of losing me or half his stuff?