There are a lot of things being spread out there when it comes to dealing with divorce that tells you about things you can do to get over an ex. But getting out of a relationship with someone, whether through a break-up or through divorce, is never easy and can never be gotten over with a few simple steps.

A break-up or a divorce, or moving on from one, is a process that needs time and a lot of personal work. It does not need a 5-step quick fix. What it needs are a few basic values that you need to develop in yourself to help you get through it.

First of which is honesty. Honesty allows you to be open about what you are feeling and thinking regarding your divorce. Allowing your world – your friends, family, children – to know how you feel and what you are thinking, your doubts and fears and questions about what will happen from here, lets them know that they can be open about their concerns to you. Especially with children, opening up to them lets them know that they can tell you what they are going through as well. knowing, accepting and acknowledging these feelings is the first and easiest step you can take to heal.

Courage is another value that you need to build in yourself while going through divorce. Being brave to take that step away from your old life and towards your new one, to build a life without the person you thought would be there forever, can be one of the scariest things you can do. But your new life would not happen without it, and having the courage to take that first step is all you need.

Having faith in yourself is another of these values. Trust that you will be okay and that everything will be fine and that you will be able to get through all the turmoil of this divorce, and you’ll be able to stop feeling the heartache and pain. Believe in your strength, and believe that it won’t always be like this.

Last and most important of all is self love. Do not be the first person to put you down. Don’t be the first one who loses patience or calls you dumb or is mean about everything that’s going wrong. Be your own cheerleader. Be kind to yourself and be patient about all the things you’re going through in the divorce. The important person you need to impress and live for is yourself, no one else.

Exercise these values and make them a part of you. Going through divorce with these tools will help you get through it in the best possible way.