Infidelity changes one’s life. New ways of coping and viewing self, others, family, marriage and the future emerge.
Here’s a question I posed:
1. List 3 or 4 meanings that your partner’s affair has for you. That is to say, what impact is the infidelity having upon YOU? For example, how has is changed what you think about? how you spend your time? how you think of yourself? etc? Tell a story or give examples of how your life is now different.
Even though I know the affair is not my fault, I think about ways I could make myself better. I continue to try and push away the negative and think about what positive has come out of this. Weird thing to say but I can breathe easier knowing that some positive things have come of this. My life is completely different, my husband has decided after 45 days of me finding out and not seeing or speaking to me about anything that he wants a divorce. Needless to say I was absolutely crushed, my family is destroyed or feels that way, we have two children of our own and my nephew who we are guardians for. Our son is 7 and our daughter is 18 mos old. All of a sudden, the dream I thought we both were striving to achieve was on pause while he was put on active duty to support the war. Instead I find that he had an a ffair with a married woman who has four children, he didn’t even cheat right, he told her he was divorced that his wife, whom he still loved left him. I am torn inside in a way that I have never felt before. Our friends and family were surprised but I wasn’t and that is the part that hurts. Through this I have found faith to help me through the rough days and family and friends support is always good. I spend my time trying to stay busy
I too understand that my husband’s affair was not my fault. But even in knowing that, I fond myself searching for ways to make myself better in his eyes. We are working on our marriage. He ended the affair when I found out and has been working hard to regain my trust again. People make mistakes. Sometimes really bad ones.
But that doesn’t make them bad people in my eyes. So, 6 months after his affair, we are working on finding us again. 6 months ago, I would have said it might not work. But I have love in my heart and these past months have helped me heal enough to see a glimmer of it back. I pray it continues to show it’s face.
Best wishes to all who are dealing with this…I’m hoping the old saying ” Time heals all wounds”, holds true.