Healing from Infidelity and Affairs: The Journey

December 20, 2008 by Leave a Comment

The healing journey for affair and infidelity recovery can be difficult and long. Successfully walking that journey can, however, provide tremendous satisfaction and discovery.

Here are real people in different stages of infidelity healing letting you know what they are doing to heal and recover:

>>>>Went for walks together Went out for social events together

>>>>face the facts talk about the feelings understand why it happened

>>>>I did NOT give an ultimatum about stopping seeing the OP or asking him to leave. We stopped shouting and talked like adults. We still do things together e.g. family stuff, household chores. He still sees the OP and I’ve a long way to go. His guilt prevents moving forward.

>>>>1. I just backed off. I listened about the other person and heard the areas where there was a void that was filled. 2. Since I didn’t do a lot of good things through this, I don’t sling mud over the transgression. This has helped a lot with opening the doors to meaningful conversation without arguments or sore feelings that would undue months of work. 3. I am in no hurry to fall back into old patterns. So when he is ready to come home, great. If not, then he can continue to stay in his apartment and we will just continue to date. Since he hasn’t expressedan interest in seeing his son too much, am not forcing them to be together. We’ll work on us first then our son.

Filed Under: Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , ,

Surviving infidelity: The Healing Journey

November 12, 2008 by 2 Comments

Those who have endured, survived infidelity and embarked upon the healing journey have much to share.

Here is a response from one of our readers:

1. What kind of affair faced you?

My husband had a three year affair with a woman fifteen years our junior, he said it wasn’t anything to do with sex it was an emotional affair, which I really think is the worse kind of affair as they are emotionally involved with someone else.

2. What are 2-3 resources that helped you survive and cope with the infidelity?

Prayer, your e.book ‘Break Free From an Affair’ and my family.

3. Describe 2-3 break-through moments or events that helped you see the affair from a different perspective, provided healing or helped make a decision?

My husband would not sign the divorce papers. he asked me to forgive him and give him another chance. After reading your e.book I changed my tactics and realized that I was torturing myself by blaming myself and realized that I am responsible for my own happiness.

4. What have you learned about yourself as a result of the infidelity?

I am a very strong person now, I am not jealous at all, I am very happy with the way things are at the moment and all the advice I received has helped me to be calm in any situation, I think my husband realized that there was a life after him.

Filed Under: Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: ,

Surviving and Thriving Through Infidelity

November 6, 2008 by Leave a Comment

Yes, You can survive infidelity. And, you can use your infidelity crisis as a springboard for change and growth – becoming who you truly are.

Here are comments from someone on the journey:

1. What kind of affair faced you?

I HAVE CHEATED ON MY HUSBAND AND HE HAS CHEATED ON ME SO I GUESS IT IS GETTING BACK AT EACH OTHER.

2. What are 2-3 resources that helped you survive and cope with the infidelity?

1. READING YOUR BOOKS AND OTHER RELATED BOOKS ON RESTORATION OF MARRIAGES.
2. HAVING STRONG SPIRITUAL PEOPLE AROUND ME TO HELP ME AND GUIDE ME.
3. BECOMING AWARE THAT I NEEDED TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF FIRST AND BECOMING THE BEST ME I CAN BE. PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY.

3. Describe 2-3 break-through moments or events that helped you see the affair from a different perspective, provided healing or helped make a decision?

1. READING YOUR BOOKS HAS HELPED ME BEGIN TO LOOK AS TO WHAT I WANTED OUT OF LIFE AND WHAT KIND OF LIFE I WANTED IN MY FUTURE. I BECAME AWARE AFTER I FILED FOR DIVORCE THAT I DID NOT WANT A DIVORCE BUT I NEEDED TO SEEK TO RENEW A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HUSBAND OF 18 YEARS. WE WERE BOTH HURTING EACH OTHER AND DOING THE BLAME GAME. I REALIZED THAT ONE OF US HAD TO EXTEND A HAND I I CHOOSE TO DO SUCH. IT IS NOT QUITE THERE BUT I HAVE A VISION OF US BECOMING CLOSER IN TIME. I KNOW THAT IT WILL NOT BE A QUICK DEAL BUT I AM WILLING TO DO THE HARD WORK TO MAKE IT WORK FOR US.

4. What have you learned about yourself as a result of the infidelity?

THAT I NEEDED TO TRUST MY HUSBAND MORE AND NOT DECIDE AND CHOOSE WHAT INFORMATION IS IMPORTANT FOR HIM TO KNOW. I HID WHAT WAS REALLY HAPPENING TO ME INSTEAD OF LETTING HIM KNOW THE TRUTH. I ALSO SEE THE NEED FOR OPEN COMMUNICATION AND BECOMING TRANSPARENT. THAT I SHOULD NOT JUMP TO ASSUMPTIONS BECAUSE THERE ARE ALWAYS THREE SIDES TO SOMETHING. MY SIDE HIS SIDE AND THE TRUTH. THE TRUTH WILL ONLY COME OUT WITH OPEN COMMUNICATION

5. What have you to offer others who experience infidelity?

THAT THEY ARE NOT ALONE. THAT WE ALL HAVE A HUMAN SIDE TO US. WE CANNOT KEEP BLAMING OURSELVES OR OTHERS BUT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR PART AND CHEATING IS NEVER THE WAY TO DEAL WITH ISSUES.WE ALL HAVE CHOICES BUT SOMETIMES WE MAKE BAD CHOICES BUT IT DOES NOT MAKE US A BAD PERSON JUST BAD CHOICES AT SOME POINT IN OUR LIFE. WE NEED TO LEARN TO KNOW WHAT WE WANT BECAUSE IF WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT WE WANT WE WILL ACCEPT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVE US.

Filed Under: Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , ,
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