The Truth About Infidelity Websites and Unhappy Relationships

July 17, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Just how popular are infidelity websites among those who are in unhappy relationships?

A recent story published by USA today said that websites that offer free membership to married individuals who want to look for other married individuals for purposes of “hooking up” record their highest profits of the year the day after Valentine’s Day. Why?

A person who runs such a website said that, “People are disappointed by their spouse’s lack of effort, and they feel especially undervalued when there is a societal expectation of romance. Certain days of the year act as litmus tests for many people in relationships.”

We tend to force romance into our relationships most of the time just to prove to ourselves that we can be romantic just like everyone else, but it usually doesn’t work and only ends up emphasizing our unhappy relationships. What’s more is, your partner could very well be one of the people who register on infidelity websites without your knowledge.

There are two possible concepts that trigger and increase the disappointment we feel during this particular day:

First being that romance gets too hyped up and it somehow makes us kind of self-centered.

Romantic movies and novels as well as love songs that come out describe romance generally as something between two people where each others’ thoughts and feelings, wants and needs are mirrored back to each other, where you begin to feel like you’re something special and you lose sight of the fact that you are just like everyone else going through the motions of life.
One more reason is because we concentrate on our personal needs. We focus on us – our need for constant attention, our need to be adored, our need to be listened to. And when our partners don’t meet our needs, or don’t do what we expect, we start to become resentful or frustrated towards them, whether we do it consciously or not.

On Valentine’s Day, there is an exaggerated expectation for romance in general. And even when we say that we don’t care whether or husbands or wives do anything special on that particular day, we get swept up in it along with everyone else. So when nothing happens, we become more convinced that our is an unhappy relationship compared to others.

Filed Under: Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Humor, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Online Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Hiding the Details of Infidelity

July 12, 2012 by 1 Comment

When infidelity strikes your marriage, do you want your partner to hide it from you? Or for him or her to tell you all about it?

If you find out that your partner is having an extramarital affair, your initial reaction is to ask about the details of what went on during his or her infidelity, where and when.

But what if your partner doesn’t tell you what you want to know? There could be a number of different reasons behind this, and here are a couple of them. Take a look and see if either one fits your situation.

 

1. Some affairs are caused by kind of a dependency issue on the offender’s side, especially in cases where the type of affair is “I fell out of love” or “I want to be close to someone.”

In these cases of infidelity, your partner tends to keep the details of his or her affair from you for fear of how you would react. Your partner cares too much if you’ll get angry or hate him or her for the things he or she did, so he or she ends up not telling you anything at all.

2. If your partner, on the other hand, is involved in an “I can’t say no” affair, his or her reasons for not opening up about his or her infidelity could be totally different.

He or she is hiding these details because he or she is ashamed and guilty over the things he or she did. Your partner doesn’t want you to know what happened because he or she knows how wrong it was and he or she wants to keep those details from you so you won’t get hurt.

There could be plenty of other reasons why your partner would choose to keep the details of his or her infidelity from you. They depend on a lot of factors, some of which include the type of affair he or she went through, the state of your relationship and his or her personal problems. Whatever it is, you have to know and understand the circumstances that lead to your partner’s infidelity to be able to determine how you will get him or her to talk to you about it.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Extramarital Affairs: Not Always Due to Sexual Unsatisfaction

July 10, 2012 by 1 Comment

Whenever a person finds out that their partner is cheating on them, or was once involved in an extramarital affair, more often than not, the things you imagine are worse than what actually happened, especially when it comes to their sexual encounters.

Take this case of extramarital affairs, for example, where a woman began an affair with someone who was 15 years younger than her. She described how she felt during the affair, saying that she didn’t feel like herself and that she was actually truly traumatized from it. She talked about how difficult it was for her lover to get an erection, and when they were finally able to have sex, that it was not good at all. In fact, it made her feel worse about herself.

What you have to keep in mind, though, is that what you imagined they had done during the extramarital affair is not necessarily the truth. And that in most cases, it is actually the opposite.

This is a problem that most victims of infidelity encounter – believing that the affair occurred because of a lack of sexual satisfaction in the marriage, and that it is the other person who started the seduction. This is not the case for everyone who has gone through or is going through an extramarital affair. Reasons for engaging in extramarital affairs actually go deeper than just a lack of sexual satisfaction in the relationship most of the time.

Usually, people cheat for personal reasons that have nothing to do with problems regarding their partners or relationships. They are usually problems that go back even before the relationship, and your partner probably had not been able to cope with it properly. Extramarital affairs are never as simple as a bad sex life, and the only way you can get to the bottom of it is if you explore each others’ needs together.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Infidelity Testimonials, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »