Infidelity, the Holidays and Transition

I wish all of you a blessed Holiday Season, regardless of your religious/spiritual stance, nationality, race or position in your life journey at this moment in time.

You are moving. You are transitioning. You are evolving. You are growing. You are moving into your future, our future, and it is good.

Yes, the Holiday Season is a time for me to reflect on the transition, the change, the movement of life.

You see, life moves us along and if we balk at the idea of accepting and embracing that goodness which awaits us, somehow, in some way, life increases our anxiety or pain and in doing that we KNOW, at that moment, we truly DO want something better.

Those who feel the pain of infidelity most acutely are those who, at some level, want something different, want something better. Yes, you pained friends, look beneath your pain to see your determination, your fire and your desire! I bet you find it! And, you almost can’t stand it because you don’t have it now… it seems so far away.

And, I am convinced that that something better is waiting…. for all of us.

It is soooo close friends.

If infidelity is in your mix right now, this Holiday Season, and it feels like a giant cloud hanging over your life, what would happen if you see that infidelity as a glitch that is convincing you, at all levels of your being, that you truly do want something else.

You want love. You want companionship. You want honesty. You want trust. You want to laugh. You want to cry good tears. You want to feel life for everything it is and not run from it. And you would hope that at some day those you value most around you would share that exhilarating journey with you.

Maybe not now. But this too shall pass. It always does, you know! Because there is always something rich, wonderful, beautiful, uplifting awaiting you. And a part of you knows that, doesn’t it?

For me the Christmas Season is a time of birth and possibilities. Life teaches us that something new is born each day and yes, there is a journey which issues moments of confusion, pain and fear, but always, and I mean ALWAYS on the edge of that pain, fear and confusion is new birth, new discoveries, new doors which open to peace, joy discovery, wonderment and yes, birth.

It’s very close. It’s in your next moment.

Well, I feel a little rambling here. Just wanted to drop you a note today and let you know that I’m thinking about you.

Peace…. Again, this too shall pass!

Value of Infidelity Chat Room

The Chat room has proven invaluable to a number of those wandering through the confusion and pain of infidelity.

Here are what a few say about wanting a Chat Room:

My husband has commented that he has “nobody to talk to” as he goes through ending his affair. His friends don’t “get it” and their wives don’t want them hanging out with him (like infidelity is contagious?) He talks with me, but there are some things that can’t be shared, and I can’t hear it all the time. It almost feels like an addiction, in a way, and the support of the type of community that deals with addiction (like AA) would be helpful in thsi situation. I would like a chat room for people who are healing from infidelity to have a place to go for support, encouragement, to help set the thinking straight, and just to have a place to get things out. However, I feel strongly that it would have to be facilitated by people who have some sort of training on the subject of infidelity, who have been through it and can provide re-direction if the conversation turns in the wrong direction, etc. I think it could be a great thing if done properly.

i WOULD LOVE A CHAT ROOM, TO DISCUSS MY PROBLEMS, AND TO SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE SHARE THEM. aLSO TO GET SOME INPUT, AND FEEDBACK. jUST A FORUM TO VENT.

I’m so desperate at times to speak and find help from people in similar situatioms going through or been through what i’m in right now…… I FEEL SO LOST, LONELY AND JUST CANT FUNCTION

its be nice to talk to others that are going thru this Bull—- that was brought into our homes, families

Sort of like AA – need to hear what others are doing successfully in this situation.

The Chat Room is reality. You may check out and visit the Chat Room here.

Infidelity Chat Room

The infidelity chat room has been and continues to be a place where those coping with infidelity in their marriage or relationship find crucial support and encouragment.

Sleepless nights are productively spent sometimes using this tool.

I seldom venture in to the chat room. The value of the room is for peers to learn and support each other.

Here are some responses to the my inquiry about the chat room:

1. List 2-3 ways the Chat Room has played a significant part in your “recovery.”

>>>>Being heard. Not alone.

>>>>1. Talking to others helps to put things in perspective. Sadly, someone always has it worse than I do. 2. Speaking to others helps to get my thoughts organized, and after writing something, makes you see your own issues more clearly. 3. The friendships.

>>>>Its a reality check and makes me see how I try to cover for my mate. The discussions make me feel like i am not alone.

>>>>Gave you someone to talk to who was going through the same thing. Others who had gone through it for years were the most helpful. It helped make you feel like you weren’t alone, and going crazy.

>>>>Someone there to talk to Good advice new ideas support from everyone.

>>>>It has helped me find my way after a trying experience.

2. What are a couple pieces of advice you would give a newbie to the Chat Room?

>>>>get it all on the table…valuable info in the wisdom of others

>>>>1. Make sure you tell your story, we’ve heard it all (or so it seems) and there is no shame in this room. 2. If possible, listen to both hurt and offending parties, it helps gain perspective.

>>>>Listen first before jumping in as it helps to see what is being discussed. it also gives the ones chatting time to get to their point.

>>>>Take your time its on your side Read the E books. Set boundaries for spouse.

>>>>Sit and listen. Not everyone’s advice will suit your situation, so to relax, and watch others talk first.