Coping with Infidelity

August 7, 2009 by Leave a Comment

Here are some comments from my readers regarding the help and direction they receive in coping with infidelity:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

>>>I have learned to back off and concentrate on myself. If I am happy I certainly am more attractive to him. He seems to like the more positive nature I am showing and he is opening up to me and talking anytime i need to.

>>>It tells me what to do and not do.. although it tells me the correct thing, the problem now is to control my heart and emotions… that is not simply done.. my emotions has controlled some things that i shouldn’t have done and i’ve gotten in trouble for..

>>>It does help hearing that others are experiencing similar feelings. Knowing what to expect next lets me know that I am on the right path or at least heading in the right direction.

>>>In my case,my partner’s infidelity began 6 years ago. He has always refused to seek counseling or to even discuss or acknowledge what happened because the other woman is still his girlfriend. I am caring for our four children alone and he has refused to get a divorce, refused to see that there is a problem that needs to be resolved. I found your e-course very helpful in confirming what I learned the hard way over the past six years, that his infidelity had nothing to do with me, that I was mistaken to try to please him while he was cheating behind my back with another woman and thus ‘win’ him back. I believe your course is providing an excellent service without condemning the cheater, who , after all , has lots of problems to face for the rest of his life. The important thing is for the person who has been dumped , and the children who have lost their father’s participation in their lives, to know that they are not less valuable, less lovable because of what happened. But in our small town,we were shunned by some people,who treated it as just another painful marriage break up in which they did not want to take sides. We had to move away and start over.

Filed Under: Infidelity Help Tagged With: ,

Infidelity Recovery: Anticipating the Dips

July 17, 2009 by Leave a Comment

Once you begin to learn about infidelity, stand back and observe the patterns, you can brace yourself for the ride. More than that, as you anticipate the dips and loops of the ride you find yourself prepared and they lose their frightening edge.

Read this case study:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

This e-course had given me specific examples of types of affairs, and concrete suggestions for ways to deal with them. If I had not had these types to think about, I would never have been able to sort through anything that was happening to me in any logical sort of way. When I initially became aware that the affair was a reality, I had not a clue as to where to begin…and the first overwhelming feeling was that something was horribly wrong with ME. After I downloaded the e-book, I spent many,many hours reading and re-reading the kinds of affairs. The support it gave me was incredible, because I slowly began to see that it was not so much about ME, though I certainly had a part in all of it, but it was much more about HIM! The roller coaster ride became a ride that I was familiar with… I was riding the same ride many times! Instead of being surprised the curves and loops, I began to anticipate them…. I started to see some patterns in my husband’s behaviors….just as one can start to anticipate when one needs to hang on to the seat of a roller coaster as it approaches its biggest curves and loops! Of course, hanging on to the seat does not take away the feelings in the pit of one’s stomach….but just knowing that one can anticipate something about the ride begins to make it a different ride….after all….roller coasters are fun for lots of people!

Filed Under: Infidelity Help Tagged With: ,

Breaking Free From the Affair

July 15, 2009 by 1 Comment

What does it take to break free from the affair? What does it take to get to the point of influencing the direction of the affair, without “trying?”

Here are some comments from those on the journey who responded to my request to give their review of my ebook, “Break Free From the Affair.”

>>>Realized that the affair was not as a direct consequence of my actions. It also stopped me behaving in a way that would prevent the breaking free from the affair. The book has also made me center more of myself and improving my self esteem.

>>>It has helped me in regaining self-confidence before I take any decision about my marriage. Getting to know that his affair was HIS decision and not my fault, has helped me to stay strong and focused through this painful situation

>>>We finally talked – I mean REALLY talked. Where he felt safe talking and opened up. No lectures from me – no droning on about whatever I think. And I REALLY listened. It made me feel so good about myself!

>>>Knowing the type of Affair helps to understand the why, and how to go about making the decision whether or not to stay in the marriage. It’s been particularly difficult for me as this my spouse’s 3rd affair (that I know of) in our 45 years of marriage. Not really sure myself why I’m still here looking for answers.

>>>I have more information and was able to handle the situation more adaptly. I’m able to identify the person and the reason my wife strays.

>>>It was like a road map because I wanted to work on my marriage but did not have any clues.

Filed Under: Extramarital Affair Types, Infidelity Help, Stopping the Affair Tagged With: ,
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