It’s an interesting fact that not much is truly known or taught about infidelity.
A local church approached me to talk about the doing a series of seminars on marriage for their adults. I suggested we do a series on infidelity (of course!)
The response: “Oh no, we couldn’t do that! No one would come to the group, fearing that others would think THEY had the problem!”
I read another article recently from the academic community on the paucity of research on infidelity. There isn’t much there.
Therapists usually fly by the seat of their pants when confronted with infidelity. Actually, it’s my observation that most therapists jump off the topic almost immediately and begin talking about “what’s happening in the marriage.”
So, when someone encounters infidelity, it’s like moving into a new unknown world. What do they do? Where do they go? How do they learn to trust again?
A powerful feeling of isolation emerges. Family and friends offer reactive advice that is usually not helpful. Plus, No one has ever talked to them about the phenomenon of infidelity.
And so, isn’t the internet a wonderful tool? Information and connection never made possible before.
Here are a couple responses from readers of my “7 Killer Mistakes” E-course on how they were helped to get their feet on the ground after the discovery”
>>>>Just knowing someone has the same issues/fears as I have. Knowing someone cares and it is not me who has the problem.
>>>>It helps me to realize that all my crazy mixed up pain and emotions are normal and things WILL get better.