Here are some more comments about those who heal the marriage after infidelity:

1. List 2-3 things you did to help you as a couple heal the wound.

1) We are making an effort to heal the wound by starting with “one” issue at a time. For instance “working together” was a huge problem for us. We made a point of finding one thing that would allow us to “work together”. Once we succeeded, we could feel the wall between us coming down. 2) In terms of trust issues, which is huge, my husband (the adulterer) made an extreme effort to keep me aware of his whereabouts at all times. In the past, he lied, didn’t return phone calls or answer his phone when he was cheating. Now, he lets me know where he is and that has helped me feel more secure and get closer to trusting him more.

We started listening to each other and talking with out anger. We started doing very simple things together like clean the house, make dinner, go out with our children as a family. We forgave one another for the transgressions.

1. No matter how bad it is, take some time every week to do something fun together. Agree that you are not going to talk about problems, just have a fun time. 2. When a conversation turns into an argument, don’t say anything about divorce. That is damaging. When you need to calm down, say “TIME OUT”, and walk away.