Archives for March 2009

Overcoming infidelity takes time. I often say 2-4 years if a person on couple wants to work through the impact of infidelity effectively and design a new life and relationship.

How to cope with infidelity when the cheating spouse “comes back home” is addressed below. Note the difficulty the children and family as a whole has in “adjusting” to the reconfigured family.

This tendency to slide back into old patterns and habits, ways of feeling and thinking is typical when another chance is given, especially if the couple bury or minimize the past damage done by the infidelity.

1. What are the 5 top things you presently are tolerating or putting up with in your home?

1.no one giving 2 craps about the concept of it being their home too…others not taking responsibility for themselves (feeling like im the only maid in the house)2. since back with spouse, kids think that the rules in place are not longer valid (certain chores, responsibilities each day) 3. being the only one to daily remind or hound kids and spouse to do what they are responsible for.(husband will not take initiative to enforce or continue rules while i am not there)4.seeing bad habits creep back in and rules being broken ( the old “now that things seem back to normal, we can all go back to what was comfortable and dysfunctional”; boundaries trying to be overstepped by others) 5.others, mainly spouse, trying to de-sensitize or un-impotantize my boundaries- trying to get me to back down on some of my decisions that im committed to…now that we are back together and the affair has been over for a year…he doesn’t get it that i have a standard in life that will be forever apart of me and never again to be jeopardized or changed.. rules i have for myself and children that must be there for the safely and health and well-being of my family as a whole….basically him wanting me to “back-off” a little…of which is way too soon at this point in my life. only can that be done when i feel safe and the Lord Jesus Christ allows for more change to take place. im sure you figured out im the one who was cheated on.