to Survive and Cope with Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs
I outline 7 types of affairs in my ebook, “Break Free From the Affair.”
After thoroughly digesting the distinctions between different types of affairs, the reader feels a sense of relief and empowerment. Coping with infidelity is make easier.
Here’s a video on knowledge is power.
I frequently go over a survey I give for those who read my Free E-course, “The Seven Killer Mistakes…that prolong the affair and your misery.” It helps me learn what it is specifically that is helpful in coping with the pain of infidelity.
I will share with you… so you might learn how to cope with the pain of infidelity as well:
1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.
The course has helped me understand it’s not me. Yes, I contributed to the affair but the issues are hers to resolve. Not mine. It has helped me understand the types of affairs and that hers is a blended affair of more than one of the seven types of affairs. It has helped me accept that her “friendship” is an affair dispite all of her reasons why it is not. It has helped me see all of the mistakes I have made so far and hopefully given me guidance to avoi future mistakes.
When I first found out about the affair, I was completely mad. I was going through so many different emotions from one minute to the next, I didn’t know what to think or do, and started to behave very badly, and was headed down a road to self destruction. Reading the e-course helped me realize that what I was feeling was normal? (Normal for finding out about the betrayed). It made me realize that I am not alone, and that many other people are going through the same emotions. When I first started reading the material I was finding on the net, it said that this would be a time of self descovery, which at the time I thought was a load of bs. But after a few weeks and the initial shock started to wear off, I did actually start to look inside, and found out some things about myself that I did not like, and am now in the process of changing my attitude. In some aspects of my life I am now a better person, but still very much struggling with the knowledge of the affair. thanks for your help R.
It has confirmed many things that I felt instinctively; like to stop saying “I love you” all the time, and not to change your intrinsic behaviour too much, just beacause you want your husband to move towards/love/care for you again. It has given me the courage to face the facts surrounding the whole infidelity issue. I also got a few laughs out of some articles, like the one about not imagining that the extra-marital sex was so hot! Thank you for that!
I learned a great deal from the E-Course and gained a lot of good information about how to cope with the different stages of emotions and feelings brought on by the affair. It helped me organize my thoughts so that I could find a better way to communicate with my spouse.
Even after hearing about the impact of infidelity from literally thousands of people, I still continue to be amazed at the power of infidelity to stir up pain, fear, humiliation and more.
I asked my readers about the impact of infidelity on their lives. Where they begin from at the moment of discovery. Here are some comments:
I constantly think about the affair. I can’t shake the thoughts. I find myself thinking alot more and trying to analyze the whole situation. My time is spent mostly working or sitting staring off into space thinking and trying to deal with it the best way I know how. I have a lower self esteem because of the affair, as I feel that I am not good enough for him any more, and that he is in search of something better. I have many feelings that I never had before, such as, hatred, and jealousy to name just a couple. I have a lot of hate for the other woman, so much so, that it scares me! I love my husband very much, but I hate what he did to us!!!
At first, it made me think that I was not good enough for my husband of 19 years. However, I have realized that I deserve better than what he has given me. I now think that what I once thought was safe and sacred is always going to be at risk now. I constantly worry if it will happen again. Now I spend my time concentrating on my boys and myself. I don’t have time or energy to dissect all of his moods and actions. So, I try to move on and do the best I can with what is left of my dignity.
I do not trust anyone now. I look for the lie no matter who is doing the talking, I question everything. I pay better attention to detail. Always on the lookout, not sure what I am looking for just always looking. And waiting for an answer a clie like you said I have tried it all over the last 4 years. Have been divorced for 2 years but we are still in limbo for some reason. The Lies have changed me! I try to spend my time for me but he always creeps into whateber I do. Where he is What hes doing …. I stay home alot never use to. Lost most of my friends and family over his affair. It just doesn’t stop.
I no longer believe in anything that I once did including God. I feel fat, dumpy, old and without any hope of change. No matter what I have done, i.e.lose weight, work out, more open, he continues to see her and to lie about it. I feel betrayed and devastated by his choice to have an affair rather than talk about his issues with our marriage.
I think about his history with me and how I can probably never trust him I am doing positive things for myself -losing weight, having my hair done more, nails done, personal improvements. I am not quiting my job I am spending less time with others and devoting more time to us time I was doing more for him but he did not respond by doing more for me, so I’ve stopped we have plans to re new our vows in several weeks but I am not sure he is really into it as I am, but he is going to do it he won’t tell me anymore about the other person except that it is over & I should not worry I could go on.
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