The confrontation of the other woman in this scenario seemed like a long time in the making, but once it happened tremendous relief and power was experienced. As well it was the final cog in her decision making process of whether to stay or go.

The wounded spouse spent 10 years with her gut saying something was wrong – which there was. so, one can imagine her lightness, at moments, discovering the truth and with it her strength, power and capacity to move on from a toxic relationship.

Also, please note that she was able to elicit the truth from her spouse, before the confrontation with the other person.

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

My purpose was to acquire more information in order to help me process the whole ordeal and determine the severity of involvement between the 2 of them. As I had already heard from my wayward husband I needed to hear her take on the relationship. I feel that I received what I wanted to hear and it helped me to sort through the lies and process better. It was from this conversation that I realized that filing for divorce would at least put the outflow of cash to the other woman under scrutiny.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

I approached with dignity and respect not aggressive but definitely assertive. Do you love him? Response: oh no it’s not like that he just advised me as to how to open my business. We’re just friends. My response : OK the jig is up you can quit lying because he just admitted everything. Her response: Crying and oh my god my therapist says I’m not a bad person, I’m not a bad person. Me: I had no response to that. Me: Were there many hotel rooms and dinners locally as well as abroad? Response: Well yes there was some of that in the beginning. Crying crying crying her not me- Me; thanks for your time

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

I learned that they both become so entrenched in their lies that even when busted they still preserve the lie. I learned that she does love him. I learned that she is in therapy for this and something bigger than this likely a child from this union. Yet to be proven. I learned above all that my gut was right. A ten + year affair is tantamount to another marriage and there is no easy out. I learned that there allegiance resided with each other and not with us the spouses. I discovered my core strength, my control of my emotions and my capacity for the most difficult decision of my life…to end my 26 year marriage to a man who could lie cheat and steal both emotionally and financially from his wife and children with no compunction, remorse,or reservation.